“Just giving birth to a child does not imply parent status” explained Mary Paul, Executive Director of Vathsalya Charitable Trust. She was addressing volunteers and prospective parents as part of a drive “Enriching the Life of an Abandoned Child through Adoption and Foster Care” by Diana Tholoor, founder of Chrysallis Performing Arts Centre.
“Children do not have just material needs. They need a family’s warmth and care.” Diana strongly believes in the value of adoption and foster care as ways of protecting the runaway or abandoned child from abuse. “It’s a vicious cycle. Runaway children are abused horrifically in the communities they believe will protect them, such as rag-pickers and beggars. After a childhood of abuse, many turn to solicitation and drug abuse.”
Vathsalya is an adoption agency licensed for in-country and inter-country adoption of Indian children. It receives and cares for both abandoned and surrendered children. Mary summarised procedures followed for tracing an abandoned child’s parents and clearing a child for adoption. She also outlined Indian adoption laws and processes for prospective adoptive parents.
Parents resort to wilful abandonment when they feel they have no options left, especially with special needs children. Vathsalya has reunited 350 abandoned children over two decades with their birth parents. They are much more than a clearing-house for children awaiting families. “We counsel parents coming to surrender their children. Our counsellors use play-therapy and
group discussion with runaway and abandoned children” Mary explains.
Mary Paul and Diana Tholoor (Pic: Nayantara)What about attachment and rejection? “Even a day old baby feels her birth parents’ rejection.” Mary answered. “Some carry immense pain and blame themselves. Many of the runaways fleeing abusive families refuse to divulge their addresses and history. They slowly regain their trust and start getting attached to us.”
Vathsalya also works with doctors approached by desperate mothers wanting late abortions and induction of pre-term deliveries. Most nursing homes are aware now of the illegality of arranging private adoptions. Vathsalya shelters pregnant mothers and provides pre-natal care and counselling. “We used to receive a lot of premature underweight babies who then died, but that has improved now.”
Vathsalya received its first child in 1990 when Indian families mostly adopted healthy children. Over the years the percentage of special needs children entering Vathsalya’s doors has risen. Foreign couples usually adopt these children. A critical goal this year for Chrysallis is promoting integration of special needs children into Indian families.
Vathsalya’s foster care program has been very successful. Children awaiting adoption are nurtured meanwhile by about 30 families in their homes. They receive a stipend and assistance for the child’s needs. “We call them our super-mothers and fathers. Even severely sick children bounce back in foster care.” Mary clarifies, “Though children living in-house at Vathsalya have a 1:2 caregiver:child ratio, they do better even with a 1:5 ratio in foster care. The family environment makes the difference”.
Children at Vathsalya (Pic: Nayantara)
Chrysallis organised an interactive program for the children, a regular occurrence over the last six years. “They sing, play and colour with us”, says Diana, pointing at a wall full of jolly cartoon characters, done previously by Chrysallis volunteers and Vathsalya children.
Listening to Mary and Diana describe their incredible work was moving and inspiring. There is hope for abandoned children here to dream of a future with loving families. Want to enrich your life? Build your family through adoption.
Links
Chrysallis: diana.tholoor@gmail.com
Vathsalya Charitable Trust
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